That’s What She Said!

If Michael Scott were a real person, he’d giggle through the entire Song of Solomon. There are just so many sexual innuendos.

Those who believe the rumor that Christianity is a sexual straight-jacket haven’t read Scripture very closely. When I was a student pastor, I decided to address the rumor head on.

I walked onto the stage and told a crowded room of high school kids something they had never thought of before. Judging by their reaction, it was certainly not what they expected to come from the mouth of a pastor.

“Tonight, I’m going to tell you how to have the best sex life you could ever possibly imagine.”

It might’ve been the only time in church history where teenagers high-fived each other about a sermon.  Needless to say, I had their attention and began to speak an incredibly freeing and Biblical truth into their hormonally charged confusion.

God wants you to have the best sex life ever.

Think about it. Does it make sense that God – who was able to create the sun, moon, billions of galaxies, the Pacific Ocean, and animals that can fly – designed us with complex organs made specifically for sexual activity then was surprised that we liked to have sex?

Did He frantically say to Himself, “Oh no, you mean they think it’s awesome?! I better do everything I can to stop it!” Of course not. In fact, the power and importance of sex is precisely why He says so much about it.

Believe it or not, sexual intimacy was the first command He ever gave to humans. After creating man and woman in His image, God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) If you’ve ever taken 7th grade Life Science, you know what He’s talking about.  But His message was much different than the one we hear today. It was simpler. Clearer. More powerful.

There are so many opinions and ideas about sex in our culture that it can become quite confusing. Jesus, however, said something interesting one time about sexual confusion, “In the beginning, it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8)

It is imperative, then, that the church think well about such things.  As Christians, we have been given the message of reconciliation and are called to represent Christ on earth (2 Corinthians 5).  This message claims that the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus has completely redeemed all components of our being, including sexuality.

So, sex is not simply a topic for debate, but an avenue through which we see and understand the gospel more clearly. In other words, it is a really big deal.

As a result, Christians must work to cultivate a robust, Biblical theology of sex.  Not only this, but we must be ready to take that theology and engage a sexually confused world with the saving power of the gospel. This will require understanding the truths of Scripture as well as wisdom in how to talk about those truths with our friends and neighbors outside the church.

So, where do we start?

God’s Word

Always begin with Scripture. Here are some passages to study and consider:

Genesis 2:22-24
Ephesians 5:28-31
The Song of Solomon
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Matthew 5:27-30
Proverbs 7
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Hebrews 13:4

Other Resources


God’s Design for Sex (A book series for children)
by Stan & Brenna Jones – varied lengths:
The Story of Me (Ages 3-5)
Before I was Born (Ages 5-8)
What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares about Sex (Ages 8-11)
Facing the Facts: The Truth about Sex and You (Ages 11-14)

What’s the Meaning of Sex?
Denny Burk – 272 pages

 This Momentary Marriage
John Piper – 192
Download it for FREE here

Video Messages

“Radically Single: Authentic Christianity as Men and Women.”
David Platt – 17 minutes

“Slow-Motion Sexual Revolutionaries?”
Russell Moore – 47 minutes

“Moral Purity in Your Marriage”
Russell Moore – 66 minutes

“Gospel Ministry to the Same-Sex Attracted”
Sam Allberry – 43 minutes

“Sex and the Supremacy of Christ”
John Piper – 52 minutes

Don’t listen to anything that describes sex as the most important thing in life. Biblical love is never defined in sexual terms, but in sacrificial ones.  The Apostle John told the first century church, “By this we know love, that He (Jesus) laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16).

If intimacy found its ultimate grounding in sexual expression, Jesus would never have been able to express love on earth. True love, on the other hand, sacrificially seeks the good of others. It places sex, as John Piper says during his message, in proper “orbit” around the sun.  Our sexuality is at its best when Christ is at its center.  

“He has brought me to the banqueting house, his banner over me is love.”
Song of Solomon 2:4

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